Beauty In Detail

Saturday mornings are one of my favorite times of the week.  With camera bag in tow, coffee in one hand and all my 'Books' in the other, I head out to the door and drop my books on the swing.  Then, sitting still, I listen and sip.  The birds are singing, water is trickling and the fountain is bubbling.

As the sun warmed my hand, casting long shadows on the page of my notes, I was drawn to the light all around me, particularly the way the sun beam danced through the trees next to me.

Glancing over my shoulder because I couldn't help but follow the shadows behind me, I thought, 'I should attach my new magnifying lens to the camera and see what I can capture of God's beauty."



I know I've taken a photo like this one, but it was just too amazing to not shoot it again!

Tiny spiders make tiny webs...

Shadows draw our eyes to details unnoticed...

...and beauty fades.

Still doing its job of guarding the Garden...

A bit nervous to get too close...THEY'RE RED!

May your weekend be filled with beauty.

How Earthen Vessels Last Forever

"God never hurries.  There are no deadlines against which he must work.  Only to know this is to quiet our spirits and relax our nerves."  A.W. Tozer

(After reviewing past posts, it seems as though I speak of this one topic often. Forgive me, there is most definitely a good reason...I need to be reminded over and over and over...)

Check this word out:

har·ried--ˈharēd/-adjective--feeling strained  as a result of having demands  persistently made on one; harassed.

Has your week been one of strain?  Persistent demands made on you?  Feeling harassed by the circumstances of daily life?

When the pressure builds up for me, I aim the lens and focus. 

I Shoot.

Heading out the back door at dusk, I spied this feeder, completely useless because the opening is too high for hummers to drink deeply, yet, what I saw inspired me.  Do you see it?  

It's cracked all around.  Yet, it's beautiful, and though it appears broken, it was delicately created in such a way to reflect light.  Here it hangs, glistening...inviting me closer.

This morning, bright sun shone through blurred glass and a mix of joy and sadness welled up in me

How do I really enjoy my life when glass is smeared, smudges block light?  Do the smudges really stop the light or do the tiny fingerprints painted over each other only serve to remind me that, today, right here in my home, His light shines through the dirt, the grime and when I take in that light and embrace it, I am saturated with His glory?

This moment had to be shared...I grab Jenna and we stare. I am sad that in three weeks the potential for more artwork will no longer be around.

There will be a day I wash away these memories.

But NOT today!

How often have we missed seeing the beauty of the world around us?  We are ever in a rush to get somewhere, but if He doesn't rush and we are His, wouldn't we be happier people if we only embraced the Light, slowing down to take it all in?

...but then, what about the times that I have tried to wash away the smudges?  He holds the camera and focuses in on my cracked life: 

I complain in my head, fuss about things that don't really matter in light of eternity, want to be thinner, younger, prettier, have more money, go away by myself (often), get paid to give advice, make my kids love God and serve Him and Me...(no need to go on. You get the message.)

But then, as I sit in the Light, I am undone. Instead of life being a blur, it all comes into focus.  

Oh, the glorious freedom and hope His Word gives!

How grateful, how transforming, how comforting to know:

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.  For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.”  2 Cor. 4:6-11

There are cracks, smudges, and flaws but His light still shines.  As a matter of fact, the uglier, dirtier things become, the greater His power to manifest His life and shine beauty wherever we go.

Remind yourself this weekend that there is nothing in your life that He can't fashion beauty from.  

Not one thing.

Did I really say THAT?

" OH NO, ISAAC, CATCH IT...BEFORE IT HITS THAT BRAND NEW JEEP!" 

Waves of guilt washed over me as I witnessed our shopping cart careening toward a shiny new black Jeep parked three spaces, downhill, no less, in the parking lot at Walmart this morning, man-boy not quick enough to stop it before it plowed into  the side door.  I can still feel the surge of emotions now as I replay that scene over in my head: metal on metal as I sat there helpless, deep inside just hoping the owner wasn't around (humility in truth is what sets us free).  It was not to be.  Right as the cart hit, he walked out from behind his vehicle. 

Hot flashes!  Sweat began to bead on my forehead. 

  So many irrational thoughts, emotions flooded my being.  But what came out was, "I am SO sorry.  It got away before we saw it or could catch it." 

But the thing that I struggled with the most was what I said next. 

When he asked if I had insurance, I babbled that I wasn't in my car and told him that it wasn't our fault!  That he should talk to Walmart!  Even as those words left my lips, I knew that was the wrong answer.   What was I thinking?  This WAS our fault, but my 'default' was to find a way out, blame somebody else. 

Did I actually say those words? 

It's a precious gift to be able to look at a situation from a different perspective and hearing those words come from my lips gave me a chance to observe what I really believe.  Or maybe not.

More hot flashes and shaking...

He called the police, I immediately called my husband!  He encouraged me to calm down and call the insurance company, which I did and after sitting there  a few more minutes giving the agent information, the man brought me back my driver's license and insurance card! 
Felt almost like I'd been cuffed and fingerprinted.

Well, it turns out that the claim will be made on our renter's insurance!  And there's a very good chance our policy rates will not go up.  I do hope not.

This gift exposed in me what was really going on:

Fear.                                              

Fear of being rejected, screamed at by a stranger whose car we had unintentionally damaged.

Fear that my Love would be upset with me...He wasn't!

Fear that my father would be angry that, because I used his car, he somehow would be involved and have to pay this man...strange how irrational fear can be.

Basically, fear that I was in trouble.  The little girl inside was caught and scared.

One never knows what 'writing in the sand' will spark a lesson, teach us about ourselves and about God. 

He reminded me as I hit my pillow this afternoon that He wasn't angry at me.  I was disappointed in myself for uttering those terribly immature words, 'It's not our fault; take it up with Walmart!'  What if this man was a believer?  He was from Tulsa, Oklahoma!  Isn't everyone in Tulsa a born-again, Spirit-filled believer??? 

How I wish I could have told him I was sorry I didn't take responsibility initially...

Yes, those words did come out of me.  They revealed fear that needs to be expelled by His love from the places where I'm most vulnerable.

"And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.  Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love."                                                                                            1 John 4: 17-18

Today's lesson:  each event, little or big, is an opportunity to be grateful for the moment.  Learn from the mistakes, failures, mishaps and rejoice that my Heavenly Father is perfecting me in His love.

Has anything happened to you today that can be viewed is a gift, disguised as a struggle you're having or perhaps things didn't go the way you'd have liked today.  What is the lesson, the gift you can receive?

The Force of Life...over death.

Warmer weather has brought spring showers, crocus' blooming, and seedlings to my garden.  The 'Garden of Eden', as my father has so dearly named the flower garden off the side yard, has been my place of solace, prayer and star gazing. 

Dad bought a firepit and every day we've been burning twigs, logs and enjoying cooler evening temps.   

I stare heavenward and dream of a place where there is no pain, separation, and where my Father watches tenderly over me and His kids everywhere. 

The nite sky is so beautiful and tonite the moon was carved out perfectly.

Things have been very busy lately.  I just finished a cute little girl reversible apron, kinda frilly, with a matching pot holder.  That was a fun project I did in between planting beans, digging up weeds, raking leaves and homeschooling.  All this amidst visiting mom in a rehab center.  She just went back there last Wed., after leaving the hospital she was at for three days due to chest pains...we thought she'd had a heart attack and that gave me another scare...before that was the big fall.  We've almost lost her twice in two weeks.  This woman is resilient!

I've been asking myself how one prepares for death.  Mom has been in and out of the hospital three times since January and each time, the protective 'guard' over my heart has been ripped off, exposing the weakening me, emotionally vulnerable.  Only tonite did I realize how I've pulled back from her and when I realized that, I felt so sad I immediately called her and told her I loved her and we chatted about her return home, hopefully on Monday. 

Sometimes, I think, people pull back unconsciously from those they love because the pain of drawing near to that person intensifies the reality that when the one they love is gone, they're left with a hole and who wants a hole in their heart? 

Jef and I are in a skit that he wrote this coming Sunday (that means we do the same skit four times!-once is a run through)...we've been practicing today and my dad thought we were really arguing.  He had quite a laugh. 

Much struggling went with being in it because my Love originally told me he was looking for someone else to play the woman part due to our life now, but then he couldn't find anyone and on Tuesday he asked me---six days before we're to perform! 

I fought with God over that one in vain...

(p.m.s.-ing big time!)

Every day He is drawing out these screwy thoughts...

...like life is all about me, right?

Thankfully, He doesn't pull them all out at once or I think I'd crumble to pieces!

I would that I had more time to devote to blogging, but this season is one of sacrificing my time for others and so, if you're reading and you've been wondering if I'm ok, just know that I'm being refined in ways I never dreamed and when I come to mind, please pray for me. 

Thanks friends.

Oh, Jesus, please don't ever stop unscrewing my screwy thoughts, chip away all of me and fill me with Your love; make my desires Your desires and when death comes to those I love, fill me deeper with Your grace so Your power flows from me to those around me...
Jesus, I need more of  You.

Monday on Tuesday-Again.

Where did the summer go? It's still here, but the routine has begun again.I've lost count of how many, but the gifts just keep coming.Ugly: Sitting for four hours in the ER with boy that said his chest felt crushed and couldn't breathe; The beautiful: He is fine, just recovering from a virus and we entertained each other...he's swimming in the back of the tank!

Ugly: Unfinished ideas sitting in a jar.

Beautiful: Potential gifts.

Ugly:

Obvious. Wouldn't win a popularity contest in any middle school of suckers!

Beautiful:

His creation and the magnificence with which He designs and delights our senses and our imaginations. There is no depth to His creativity.

These days of just watching Him direct my heart, my emotions and perform miraculously in the moment by moment ticking of time. How He dances over me.

I join you, Jesus, in this dance.

Gonna be a great week.

Blessings everyshere, just notice them, celebrate them, announce them.