What if she had changed her mind?

Thoughts like this one have been swirling around in my head all week.  What were the days like before she boarded that huge ship?  What fears did she have to overcome after her ticket was purchased? Was she excited?  Courageous by nature?  How difficult was it to say goodbye to her parents, not knowing if she'd ever see them again?--and she never did see them again.  Did she know how God orchestrated her circumstances and directed her to Ellis Island that cool fall day?   Did she consider the impact her leaving Ireland would have a decade later?  A century later?   

It is a mistake to look too far ahead.

Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.

~ Winston Churchill

In answer to a prayer for the last two and a half years about my relationship with my mother, a crack in the door of our hearts has opened and we're connecting.  I never gave much thought to how I am the fruit of a choice made over a hundred years ago by a Catholic girl following family to a new country.  I wonder:  how amazing is it that one hundred and twelve years later, her travel and story would bring a mother and daughter closer?

My grandmother's name was Mary McPartland.  She was born in Leitrum, Ireland in 1884, and as a young woman of sixteen, she traveled alone across the ocean to be united with her five older siblings already living in Buffalo, N.Y.  The ship she traveled on, the SS City of Rome, made its last journey that fall before being scrapped in 1902, it breaking down twice on its way to America with her on board.  She stayed in the steerage section of the ship with about one thousand other '3rd class' passengers.    

I wish I could have met her.  She died the year before my mother met my father.  I know so little about her.  Still so many unanswered questions.

But, for now, I am grateful to be drawing nearer to my mother.  She lights up, even smiles when I bring up her mother and her siblings.  She tells the same stories over and over, but she's talking, remembering and I am learning how to love my mother.

Thankful Thursday and Joy on the journey!

Back in June of 2009, I wrote a post here about my nephew and a situation I asked prayer for.

After four years of fighting for the truth, my nephew, Anthony Bell and his family have received justice.  I imagine they couldn't be more delighted.  Tony's attorney has been suspended and he will receive the $15,000 he took from Tony.  Read about his former attorney's suspension here.

Read the story about Tony here.

I am so thankful that my nephew is being recompensed for this injustice.  I also want to thank everyone that prayed for him.

When I think of being thankful on this Thursday before Easter, I am reminded by Tony's story that justice comes at a cost.  Even if it takes four years to finally be rewarded for your innocence, it comes.  Though, I'm sure, at times, it didn't look like anyone cared or wanted to see things made right, Tony and his family did.  They were persistent, diligently going to work, Tony giving a portion of his paycheck to his boss every week, believing that justice would come.  People were strategic in bringing things to the light and finally he has his reward.  It came.



For Jesus, justice came when he rose from the dead, defeating the devil and restoring mankind to a right relationship with the Father.  It cost him his life, given freely for mankind, me, despite the fact that I didn't know him or care that He gave that offering on my behalf.  I believe Jesus' prayer that day, "not my will be done, but Yours" was with such confidence and hope that people would receive His gift of eternal life that he looked past the pain and suffering he would endure as the nails were pounded into his hands and feet.  He knew justice would be served and we would be free.  It came and we are free.

To my brother and his family, I know I have no idea of all that you've gone through for the last four years.  I salute your fortitude, the courage to stand up against injustice, all the hours spent driving back and forth to Cleveland, answering all the questions, the interrogation of your son...everything you did to fight for your son.  It is heroic. 

May God richly bless you for your heart of love for your son and your family. 
I love you.
Happy Easter.

This Christmas...

~gaze upon the Star that leads you to The Savior of all mankind, Jesus Christ.

~quietly treasure in your heart, as Mary did, the amazing things the Lord has done for you this past year...

~celebrate the home you live in and reflect on Jesus' humble birth place.

~sing along with the angels: 

"Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to all

   whom God favors.  "Luke 2:14

~never forget that Jesus told us to come to Him as a child, no matter how old we are!  He delights in us enjoying the things children enjoy; simple pleasures.

~lavish on others from the abundance of blessings you've been given by our gracious God...

"for the Law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ." (John 1:17)

~worship Him as the wise men did so long ago and give Him your very best gift, your heart.

~remember Christmas isn't about giving gifts, it's about Jesus being born to die for your sins; there is no other reason for this celebration.

~take time to notice the little ones...*

~keep in mind that big gifts sometimes come in small sizes...(a bed set for the twins 'guy house' daddy built two years ago!  Complete with a fitted sheet, a pillowcase, and a bedspread!)

~taste and see that the Lord is good (and so are cookies made from scratch!)...

~pray for family far away from you and the Father's heart, reminding Daddy God of His promise to send His angels to care for those who will receive salvation...our loved ones!
Hebrews 1:14

~allow the Spirit of God to set your heart ablaze with His love

May the graciousness of our God overwhelm you as you celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! 

"Look! The virgin will conceive a child!

She will give birth to a son,

and he will be called Immanuel

(meaning, God is with us)."  Matthew 1:23

*this little girl was sitting so sweetly in a Dollar Tree cart with her puppy next to her just as sweet and calm...I had to take a picture!

The Force of Life...over death.

Warmer weather has brought spring showers, crocus' blooming, and seedlings to my garden.  The 'Garden of Eden', as my father has so dearly named the flower garden off the side yard, has been my place of solace, prayer and star gazing. 

Dad bought a firepit and every day we've been burning twigs, logs and enjoying cooler evening temps.   

I stare heavenward and dream of a place where there is no pain, separation, and where my Father watches tenderly over me and His kids everywhere. 

The nite sky is so beautiful and tonite the moon was carved out perfectly.

Things have been very busy lately.  I just finished a cute little girl reversible apron, kinda frilly, with a matching pot holder.  That was a fun project I did in between planting beans, digging up weeds, raking leaves and homeschooling.  All this amidst visiting mom in a rehab center.  She just went back there last Wed., after leaving the hospital she was at for three days due to chest pains...we thought she'd had a heart attack and that gave me another scare...before that was the big fall.  We've almost lost her twice in two weeks.  This woman is resilient!

I've been asking myself how one prepares for death.  Mom has been in and out of the hospital three times since January and each time, the protective 'guard' over my heart has been ripped off, exposing the weakening me, emotionally vulnerable.  Only tonite did I realize how I've pulled back from her and when I realized that, I felt so sad I immediately called her and told her I loved her and we chatted about her return home, hopefully on Monday. 

Sometimes, I think, people pull back unconsciously from those they love because the pain of drawing near to that person intensifies the reality that when the one they love is gone, they're left with a hole and who wants a hole in their heart? 

Jef and I are in a skit that he wrote this coming Sunday (that means we do the same skit four times!-once is a run through)...we've been practicing today and my dad thought we were really arguing.  He had quite a laugh. 

Much struggling went with being in it because my Love originally told me he was looking for someone else to play the woman part due to our life now, but then he couldn't find anyone and on Tuesday he asked me---six days before we're to perform! 

I fought with God over that one in vain...

(p.m.s.-ing big time!)

Every day He is drawing out these screwy thoughts...

...like life is all about me, right?

Thankfully, He doesn't pull them all out at once or I think I'd crumble to pieces!

I would that I had more time to devote to blogging, but this season is one of sacrificing my time for others and so, if you're reading and you've been wondering if I'm ok, just know that I'm being refined in ways I never dreamed and when I come to mind, please pray for me. 

Thanks friends.

Oh, Jesus, please don't ever stop unscrewing my screwy thoughts, chip away all of me and fill me with Your love; make my desires Your desires and when death comes to those I love, fill me deeper with Your grace so Your power flows from me to those around me...
Jesus, I need more of  You.

It's a Thursday...I am thankful.

Short synopsis of December 10th for all my family up north...

We don't have snow~just cool winds blowing and sunshine drifting in and out of the clouds.

Today I began to read "Cheaper By the Dozen" to the boys along with my niece and let me tell you-it's nothing like the movies. By far, it's much more interesting and inspiring. We knocked out four chapters and the giggles were abundant. Such a cute story so far.

While sitting at the computer attempting to write an email, I heard a 'thud' coming from outside and I knew it was a result of a child falling off the trampoline. My feet hit the floor and I ran as Jef followed behind me. There, on the ground, in tears, was my niece saying she couldn't feel her legs.

(She is quite the drama queen, although with the sound of the thud, it could have been true!)

Love ordered me to pray immediately cuz my hand was on her hip and side, so after I finished, she calmed down and she really did feel her legs, so we helped her up and brought her into the house. As she sat in the chair calming down, Isaac says, "I fell too!" That kind of broke up the moment and we laughed cuz here he was standing there like nothing had happened...

Praise God, she's fine, but my heartbeat took quite a while to slow back to a normal rate!

Then the phone began to make ear-splitting sounds, then made a very loud busy signal, so I called Time Warner and they're coming Sunday afternoon to fix the problem.

Then there's the missing glasses...mine and dad's! We are beginning to think that the water bugs here are far-sighted and are stealing them.

My highlight was my nephew running to me and saying he'll miss me as they headed home.

Oh, there was the medication problem that took a while to sort out with the WalMart pharmacy, the postal prescription people and the doctor's office...whew! It would be fine if dad didn't get his emotions all in a tizzy! It always turns out fine, it's just the process that is so taxing at times. I sense I'm growing in grace!

I uploaded pix from Nov. and Dec. tonite. As I reflected on all the changes we've walked through in the last two months, I am amazed. Things are finally settling down and almost all the boxes are unpacked, pictures on the walls and decorations throughout. We've even planned a 70's polyester themed New Year's Eve party. That ought to be an interesting night.

Thought I'd include a collage of my dad...enjoy! He's a trip.

Just looking at these makes me laugh and rejoice at the chance to spend every day of the rest of his life with him and mom...I'll post a collage of her soon, too!

Have a great weekend, in case I fail to get the chance to post...and, oh, would you drop me a comment? It would be nice to connect with all those readers out there that peruse but don't post...

~Thankful Thursday~

Today, October 30th, 2008, I'm thankful for:

...my father, born this day, seventy-three years ago. I love you, daddy.

...a red-headed granddaughter, full of spunk and laughter.

...my love that treats me to DQ when the chocolate cravings get to be too much.

...friendly neighbors that share their eggs.

...watching a new visitor to the birdbath fly to my jeans hangin' on the line and try to get in my pocket.

...for warm days to do seat work outside.

...hands that can touch the dirty face of a happy boy with chapped lips.

...freecyclers that share clothes, visit my blog and enjoy it~!

...the Holy Spirit's conviction and drawing to make all things whole in my life.

...a desire for authentic community.

...imeem playlists that play the kind of music that warms my heart.

...four and then some more sons to serve.

...digital cameras that make taking pictures a pleasure.

...the beautiful colors of fall.

Photo taken by Daune

Taken on Monday, Oct. 27th

Freidrich Wilderness Park