Showing posts with label my story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my story. Show all posts

April 19, 2012

What if she had changed her mind?

Thoughts like this one have been swirling around in my head all week.  What were the days like before she boarded that huge ship?  What fears did she have to overcome after her ticket was purchased? Was she excited?  Courageous by nature?  How difficult was it to say goodbye to her parents, not knowing if she'd ever see them again?--and she never did see them again.  Did she know how God orchestrated her circumstances and directed her to Ellis Island that cool fall day?   Did she consider the impact her leaving Ireland would have a decade later?  A century later?   


It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
~ Winston Churchill

In answer to a prayer for the last two and a half years about my relationship with my mother, a crack in the door of our hearts has opened and we're connecting.  I never gave much thought to how I am the fruit of a choice made over a hundred years ago by a Catholic girl following family to a new country.  I wonder:  how amazing is it that one hundred and twelve years later, her travel and story would bring a mother and daughter closer?

My grandmother's name was Mary McPartland.  She was born in Leitrum, Ireland in 1884, and as a young woman of sixteen, she traveled alone across the ocean to be united with her five older siblings already living in Buffalo, N.Y.  The ship she traveled on, the SS City of Rome, made its last journey that fall before being scrapped in 1902, it breaking down twice on its way to America with her on board.  She stayed in the steerage section of the ship with about one thousand other '3rd class' passengers.    

I wish I could have met her.  She died the year before my mother met my father.  I know so little about her.  Still so many unanswered questions.

But, for now, I am grateful to be drawing nearer to my mother.  She lights up, even smiles when I bring up her mother and her siblings.  She tells the same stories over and over, but she's talking, remembering and I am learning how to love my mother.



May 29, 2011

Envisioning the wind in my hair...

Sitting as close to my Love as possible and is acceptable in public, my senses are acutely aware of this moment...my heart aflame with love for this man, the man of my dreams...is it possible to passionately hunger for him the way I did almost twenty-nine years ago? Can it be that I am falling in love again with this man that vowed to love, protect and cherish me as long as our lungs fill with oxygen...how can this be?  I know I love him, but what happened to passion?

It's like I've been sitting on some train, unaware of the beauty just outside my window because I've been preoccupied, distracted, busily writing a story or so I thought that's what I was doing.  The locomotive is loud, the speed uncontrollable and I am comfortable in this seat...

...but today all that changed*...

I envision myself getting up, clutching on to every seat as I make my way to the back of the car, forcing open the metal door that's keeping me in...then, in an instant, I'm leaning over the edge, the wind pushing against my face, my dress blowing frivolously free. As my left hand holds on for dear life, my right arm, in abandoned freedom, extends towards the trees whizzing by in a fury...and as I open my eyes to this beautiful moment, I am undone...I am never going to be the same again.

...this is what marriage is all about...

...a Divine love affair with the Author of the Universe writing our story with His pen, asking us to jump out of our seat and grab hold of His hand while He ignites passion and inks eternity on our hearts for each other and Him...all the while reminding us that we cannot do this on our own...this ride is too dangerous!

Passion Himself has pursued me, pulled me from my comfort, invited me to join His adventure and lavished on me the love from one man, as flawed as I am, yet one who loves me from his heart...a heart that will never let me go. 


Because I am undone, I must hang on.
I can do nothing else.

Let the flames of passion for my lover burn away all selfishness and mold us into His image together.


*we attended the Love and Respect conference and I am forever grateful for our pastor, Mike Sharrow, for his passion for His savior, Jesus, and his love for His Church.

September 22, 2009

My Fairy Tale...



Once upon a time, a little girl was born.
No one knew that she was a princess, not even her mother or father.
She grew up in the city and lived with her family on a street where she had lots of friends and room to roam alone.
She didn't treasure her life very much because no one had ever told her how precious and valued she was. As she grew, she gave her affection, her heart, and her body to anyone that would take them in exchange for a little attention and love.
Years went by and one day, this young girl was introduced to the King of a faraway land that had come to her city. What is so astonishing is that this King had been searching for her everywhere. They talked and He told her that she was a princess-that she belonged to Him and had been secretly stolen by a thief and sold for a price.
He was the King of all Kings and His heart was overjoyed to finally have her back.
This information only angered the princess. "How can that be true," she said, and ran home crying because deep down she was afraid that it just might be true and that would mean that her parent's had lied to her all these years.
She felt betrayed.
What if His words were true?
What if she really was a princess?
How would that change things?
Panting as she walked through the door of her house, she told her father the story the King had told her about her being a princess and being stolen. Her father laughed at her and the story; told her to go to her room and never speak about that again.
Now she knew what the King had said really was true.
When she walked into her room, there on her bed was a treasure box filled with presents-
a gold necklace, a bottle of beautiful perfume, and a ring, along with a note:
To My Princess :
I love you.
These gifts are yours.
They've always been yours.
I am so glad we found each other.
I've been searching for you from the day you were stolen.
You belong to Me and I will wait for you as long as it takes.
Signed,
'Your Faithful King'.
"Where did this come from?" she thought. 'How did He find me here?'
The princess put the box under her bed and hid it from her parent's for fear they would throw it away.
She'd bring it out occasionally and look at the outside of it-the colorful fabric, the golden thread, the letters inscribed:
For A Princess
More time went by and the girl grew to a young woman. She carried the box around with her wherever she went, although she never once took out any of the gifts to wear or enjoy-she only glanced at them in awe. She just couldn't accept that she really was a princess, so putting the gifts on would only feel uncomfortable, ugly and shameful. Her heart was almost completely empty and hollow by now.
She went off to college and gave the last piece of her heart to another lover only to be left pregnant and alone.
Devastated with the reality that her life was over, or so she thought, she went home and told her parent's the news.
Her mother said, "I'm not surprised."
Being that it was her father's birthday, she couldn't have picked a more appropriate time.
He held her and they cried.
She quit school, her jobs, moved home and slept on the couch because her sister took her bedroom.

The princess became desperate and so lonely, though she wasn't alone...

"Surely somebody will love me," she thought,and foolishly ran into the arms of a long ago lover. But what she didn't know was that he was a friend of the thief who'd stolen her as a baby. This lover took her drinking to ease her pain and as she sat upon a bar stool, drinking and thinking, this question arrested her thoughts,

"What are you doing here?"
At that very instant, she got up and walked out, never to see that lover again.
This was a turning point in the life of the Princess.
There was life growing inside her and deep down she wanted what was best for this little one.
The King waited...and waited.
He sent his men to guard and protect her from anymore harm-of this too, she was unaware.
He sent one of His servants, a woman servant, to assist her in coming back to Him and His kingdom.
Over time, this servant befriended the Princess and noticing the box was always with the princess, asked if together they might open it.
The princess agreed, mainly because the servant's eyes were clear and there was nothing to make her think this friend wanted anything from her.
Her eyes somehow reminded the princess of the King, but neither said anything about that fact.
So, the girl drew the necklace from the box, smiled, and then put it on the Princess.
Next, she slid the ring on the nervous finger and sprayed the fragrance in the room and on the Princess.
When the mist of the perfume hit the skin of this precious princess, instantly she felt clean-like somehow she'd had a shower, but one she couldn't really describe.
This was an 'inside the skin' shower.
Her heart felt washed, full; it felt new.
One can't really understand how this feels unless it's experienced.
Oh, how the princess wept.
The power of the fragrance had filled her heart and then, as she stood there,
she heard in her ears,
loud as thunder, yet in a whisper,
"You don't have to give up the baby,
just give Me your life and I'll take care of you and the baby."
She sobbed deeper,
tears washing away anger, loneliness,
now a fullness filling empty spaces that had died inside her.
She just had to run to the King.
"'NOW, WE HAVE TO GO TO THE KING!'
'Take me to the King!'"
They hurried to the King's castle and as they entered the throne room, they each bowed at His feet.
He held out His arms.
The servant lay at His feet while the Princess lifted her head and waddled up into the King's lap.
Her huge belly settled between them and they laughed and hugged.
That moment seemed to last for an eternity.
Tears of repentance, along with the sadness gave way to joy, gladness and a calm contentment that everything was going to be alright.
Well, the princess had a beautiful red-headed little girl. She weighed 9 and a half lbs. and was twenty-three inches long.
She was so scrumptious and healthy.
It is to be noted that the princess had two sisters and one brother that were overwhelmed with the prospect that they, too, might be royalty and when they met the King, they knew in their own heart that, yes, it was true!
The fairy tale doesn't end yet.
The King had arranged for a wonderful prince to meet the princess long before she knew he was a prince and long before either of them knew they would one day wed.
But isn't that like the King?
He is full of surprises.
The prince was in training when he was made aware that the Princess needed help. So, he gathered his friends to himself and made a plan. He would rescue the princess, along with her daughter and together the three of them would embark on a life of adventure.
...and that's just what he did.
He married the Princess, adopted her chubby little baby girl and then they left the city and went far away where the Prince could finish his training, fight battles and conquer lands for his love.
To this day, he fights and wins and loves and serves the King and his bride.
The happy couple had four sons-
each warriors for the Kingdom.
After many years, that chubby little red-headed girl grew up, married her own prince, and they had two chubby, red-headed girls of their own.
Both families lived life serving the King and the princess' parent's were restored to the King by His love and mercy.
They moved into the palace and now live with the Princess and her prince.
Not Quite The End...*
*-This is truly my story and most of it actually happened, but mostly it happened in a realm one can only dream of and where hands cannot touch!

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