Realities like:
...the grey hair on top of my head is increasing, even IF I can't see it unless I'm looking at the magnifying mirror WITH my glasses on!
...the little downy hair that used to be so thin and white above my upper lip and was hardly noticeable is now NOT thin and most definitely not white anymore, despite my attempts to deny it...alas, that darn magnifying mirror~
...when, out of the blue, my internal thermometer suddenly rises so rapidly I sense my tear ducts evaporating.
...a joke is NEVER a joke anymore...it's an attack...on me...and that warrants a counter attack, complete with...well, never mind.
...the day is going just fine...but then, I begin to feel overwhelmed and that triggers a chain reaction to organize or clean...then clean some more only to notice that if I moved this furniture here and that there, well, then it'll all be good again. Nope. Doesn't work.
...I want to save the world. Or, rather tell the world what's wrong with it and how I know just what it needs to get better. No one wants to hear that. I wouldn't either.
...leaving to go somewhere and wandering the house in search of my phone. I finally asked Love to call me and suddenly, my butt is ringing.
OH MY WORD. SERIOUSLY?
My nephew and his wife and baby have been living with us since the end of May and today he quipped, "It was just a mental pause, aunt Daune' after I apologized for the repeated moments of passive aggressive behavior they endured yesterday.
Sometimes, saying "I'm sorry" just doesn't cut it...one may need to get creative to stress how sorry one is.I recognized my insanity after I went to bed and thought about the day. Messes have become a part of my life with a baby living here, one to care for all day and a lot of people eating and NOT ALWAYS CLEANING UP AFTER THEMSELVES...(I feel the internal temp rising as I write!)...and junior year of high school hasn't even begun!
It wasn't too many days ago I asked God to give me hope because I was at a boiling point and I almost felt as though I'd somehow lost my salvation (don't worry, I found THAT in my back pocket, too!)
He reminded me of Jesus' teaching that if I build my life on His teachings...that WHEN THE WIND BLOWS and the Waves beat against the house, it WILL STAND.
My whole house, literally and figuratively, have been beaten against for a while and I'm still in love with Jesus...He hasn't stopped loving me for losing it over and over and His love endures forever.
Mental pause is just that...a pause.
Perhaps when I'm through this season, I'll be able to post the next 'how'...
..How to get through it without going to jail.
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