October 20, 2009

Breathing Deeply...

The reality of death daily knocks on the door of my mind. I awake and breathe deeply, thanking Daddy for another day of laughter, pills, appointments, and the unexpected challenges that we now face with my parents. We begin anew each morning and He is there with His grace.

Even if someone were to tell me what was ahead, I'm not sure I would have believed them or maybe I would have thought, 'this is way too hard.'
I cannot thank my sister and brother-in-law enough for caring for my parents for six years. What a gift they are.

(Random thoughts as these are all I have time for lately!)

We are in a 'training to be counselors' class and one of the requirements is to read a book called, "The Lies We Believe" by Dr. Chris Thurman and each chapter takes me down a road that I would not have otherwise walked.
I suppose the latest chapter I'm on -'We all die'-couldn't be more appropriate. I know in my head that one day I'll pass on and then my body will get an upgraded figure! But when I look at my mother and the thinness of her skin, the enormously large scar on her left arm from the surgery for the 'fistula' and all the meds she's on, I face the truth that each day death is nearer than I want to admit.

(Another sigh)

I need more breaths. Deeper breaths, filling my lungs with Your grace, power and strength to love unconditionally, serve tirelessly and hope endlessly*.

I am coming to the place that this statement is becoming my experiential reality:

"He isn't all I need until He's all I have."
Jesus, I need Your breath filling my heart, lungs, cells and spirit so I can give You to these two fragile spirits that teeter/totter on the edge of life here on earth.
I thank you for your prayers for this season in our life. Would you agree with us for a home large enough to house all of us and meet the needs we have (along with some requests of mine-the country!).
Thank you again.
*A message I heard Sunday that was tailor-made for me!

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