When does one go from just being thankful to being desperately grateful?
I'll tell you...when one has something obstructing his airways!
Last nite, I spent time talking to my dear daughter for a while and told her I needed to hang up so could get a drink...my mouth was so dry.
I walked into the dining room and picked up the cup I'd had earlier, thinking there was still some water in the cup, and proceeded to take a swig. Before I realized, it was too late...something other than water was in that cup and now it was lodged in my throat...so I began to cough, thinkin' it would surely just come back up...nope...then I tried to gag myself...nothing...now, I'm beginning to get concerned cuz I can feel this 'thing' stuck and no way to get it out...I could feel the sweat and the shakes take over...by now, my love is trying to get behind me to grab me and do that move thing...'no, don't touch me'...I headed to the sink and stuck my fingers down as far as they would go and continued to gag myself, cough, spit...again...nothing...so, I just leaned on the counter and Jef began to stroke me and tell me to calm down...the boys had run out of their beds twice already and we told them I was ok...was I?
I could still breathe but this pain and the fear that accompanied it was not ok, but I didn't want to scare them...'mommy's just got something stuck...' YUP!
One more time, and I know Jef was praying...and I gagged myself and out it came!
It was a star shaped button that had been on a hat that Jef brought home from work.
The boys had taken it off the hat cuz it made it look like a girl hat and one of them had had it in his mouth, spit it out and it landed in the cup and he left it there!!!
When he came in the room, saw me in tears...happy tears, but he didn't know that, saw the button and realized it had been his fault for leaving it in the cup, he was overwhelmed.
Then we could see this thought on his expression..."I almost killed my mom..."
The tears and 'I'm sorry, mom...I'm so sorry. Please forgive me...I'm so sorry, mom...' He was so scared and so repentant! He wouldn't let go of me...kept squeezing me around my waist...
Now we were all crying, except Jef! He doesn't cry...he had been praying...! I immediately told this child it wasn't done intentionally. He was fine, forgiven and I was fine. That seemed to last for an eternity...lots of hugging, kisses.
The other twin asked if he could throw out the button~to which we all laughed! Great idea!!!
This boy learned several lessons...one of which came a few minutes later when he came back in the kitchen asking for a flashlight...
Why?: to read the Bible on the bed!
His daddy had just talked to them about a section in the back of their Bibles that had verses-'when you feel...sad, scared, etc'...-so, he wanted to look up verses on being scared...
We held him and Jef took his face in his hands and told him that we loved him and that he needed to forgive himself...that was an important lesson to learn...not beating oneself up over something not done intentionally is a lesson that is so necessary.
He led him in a confession and prayer and then off to bed he went, flashlight in hand...said today that he fell asleep reading it to his brother.
(...they do EVERYTHING TOGETHER...including sleep...it's adorable...bunk beds, but why use both when the top is sufficient!~~!)
Another thing he saw was that we loved him. There was no finger pointing, yelling, condemnation, or guilt. It was an accident and that's how it needed to be dealt with.
I can guarantee he'll never put another button in his mouth or toss it into a cup again!!!
On his Thanksgiving list of things he's grateful for is that 'mom is alive'!
I am grateful for grace, peace and forgiveness, as well as the healing of my throat and muscles in my neck~
(I even got breakfast in bed today!!!)