January 20, 2012

Deep Breaths

There's not doubt that I'm on my way home...everyone can hear the squeaks, creaks and rattles of dad's SUV as I head up the hill.  There, parked on the street, I spy the back of an open truck, filled with oxygen tanks and I'm asking myself why they're here already.  They told me to call THEM when dad comes home.  I was beginning to sense pressure--(wonder where that came from?)
Well, the truth is Love was home and they called him.  He must have thought it would be a good idea if they came.  I wasn't ready to face the reality that this is a new season for me with my dad. I walked into the house, following the man with tanks, him showing me where to go.  'Wait a minute, this is my house.  Why am I following you?'

Dad still hasn't come home.  It's been quiet around here...no constant interruptions, questions like:  'Where's my paper, where's the creamer, did you take my tape, I just got a bill from such and such and I am so angry...'

Honestly, I don't miss THAT, but what I do miss is his laughter, his constant energy-until the Ever Ready bunny needs recharging, and his desire to learn.
Love and I headed to the hospital, caraffe filled with piping hot coffee, to surprise him.  Yesterday, I'd promised to bring him coffee because his only complaint other than being in the hospital was how BAD the coffee was.  But, because I needed to clean and declutter their bedroom, I couldn't take him any and told him that TODAY I'd make him an entire pot when he got home...that didn't happen, so off to the hospital we went!
Poor guy, I've taken him the paper for three days and unfortunately, the comics page was missing from all three papers!  He thanked me for bringing him the paper, but what he really wanted was to do the puzzles...today wasn't the boy's fault, the paper was missing that section!  

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New day...Saturday...original post from yesterday...how time flies when fifty million, or so it seems, different people need you and you get CONSTANTLY SIDETRACKED!

So, this morning dad calls to tell us he's not coming home again today.  Sigh.  Then, after I take him the three days of crosswords, he calls to say he is, in fact, coming home today.  I'm waiting for his call now.

Things are going to be even busier, caring for him and her.  But the great news is that there is joy on this journey...It's my choice to embrace that joy.  I chose joy.

Let me encourage you today, if you're struggling with the journey you, too, are on. 

YOU can run this race, and finish it.  You have the God of the universe living on the inside of you and Father God hand-picked YOU to walk on this path.  It was HIS doing, not yours.  He is for you and He is with you AND He is IN YOU!

Take deep breaths as you walk...sometimes the road is steep;  sometimes it's rocky, and sometimes it's just plain ol' muddy with puddles that have to be stepped in.

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