May 3, 2010

Holding onto Life

'Lord', I ask, 'are her days winding down? How do I grab hold of an eternal perspective here and now when the only thing I can think about is how her leaving is going to affect me?" 

A large cup of iced coffee at Borders with my Love at 8:30 p.m. is a recipe for staying up half the night thinking about why my mom has been so 'out of it' and spacey the last few days, repeating her questions, wanting to lay in bed and not eating much more than a mouse.  

Thoughts swarm all around me:   'Is she breathing right now?'  'Should I peak in their room and watch to see?'  'How do I respond if dad suddenly walks into our bedroom in a frantic panic while I'm sleeping because his wife of forty-nine years is no longer breathing?' 
'Oh, Jesus, please give me Your Word on this.'

As I lay there, the Word comes: 
'He will keep thee in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Me because he trusts Me.'*  '...and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ...'

('Pull out your sword, Daune; I am right here with you.')  

 I slept for a little while and when I awoke, another thought drifted doing a jig on streets of gold and I grabbed hold of that thought and then peace overwhelmed me and I knew that He'd heard me, Jesus knows the moment she'll go and my purpose is to live each moment in His presence trusting Him to hold me when that time comes. 

Then as I listened to His Word, these verses set me free:
2 Cor. 4:16-5:10 (NLT)

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.  For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever!  So we don't look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.  For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down—when we die and leave these bodies—we will have a home in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands.  We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long for the day when we will put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing.  For we will not be spirits without bodies, but we will put on new heavenly bodies.  Our dying bodies make us groan and sigh, but it's not that we want to die and have no bodies at all. We want to slip into our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by everlasting life.  God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit.

So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord.  That is why we live by believing and not by seeing.  Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.  So our aim is to please him always, whether we are here in this body or away from this body.  For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in our bodies."

With an eternal perspective, I soar with gratitude for:

   a Canon XS 1000D camera, complete with an extra lens and case for a great deal!
  my best friend

dad and sunflowers!  They are as tall as him.

sunny sky and warm breezes drying laundry in less time than a dryer and much less expensive!

a developing 'Garden of Eden'

Lego sorting with twins on a Monday morning!  Now that's their idea of 'school'!

Scripture piercing through lies giving sure footing on treacherous roads up ahead

monthly cycle ending normally


heartfelt prayers for dinner

encouragement at just the right moment

a sweet conversation with a friend's daughter tonite sharing highlights

happy parents living under one roof with us

peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

handfuls of life giving potting soil

my 'heart-close' friend sending me bags of zinnia, hosta and marigold seeds, music and a beautiful card for my birthday

 speckled angel kisses

Vulnerable touching in dark quietness under new sheets

connecting spirit to spirit through prayer


Psalm 8:1-9
O Lord, our Lord, the majesty of your name fills the earth!
Your glory is higher than the heavens.
You have taught children and nursing infants
to give you praise.
They silence your enemies who were seeking revenge.

When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers—the moon and the stars you have set in place— what are mortals that you should think of us, mere humans that you should care for us?
For you made us only a little lower than God,
and you crowned us with glory and honor.

You put us in charge of everything you made,
giving us authority over all things—
the sheep and the cattle
and all the wild animals,
the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea

O Lord, our Lord, the majesty of your name fills the earth!

*Is. 26:3; 2 Cor. 10:5
Pictures taken with my new camera

Join me over at Ann's site to celebrate with others their thankfulness!  Click on the link and you'll head over there.

holy experience


Karelin said...

Beautiful, honest post. May the Lord be closer to you than you've ever known before. He loves you with an everlasting love, and He holds you in His arms. Aloha!

UKZoe said...

Can't imagine what fears like that will do to you but how blessed your parents are to have you so close when the time comes for one of them to go first.

I doubt I could ever share a house with my dad again and I think both of us lose out because of that.

Mary B said...

What a beautiful, beautiful post!! Thank you for parent's are in the twilight of their years...your posts gave me a new perspective. Thanks!

mom2six said...

Saying a prayer for you this morning. God would continue to walk with you giving you comfort through this season. May your mother enter his presence with peace and joy. May the Father give you and your family that same peace and joy. In Christ, Nancy


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