~Defragmenting My Brain~

What a hilarious way to wake today...I heard these words from Daddy,"I'm defragmenting your brain! The finger pointing outward in judgment is now being turned inward and as I am healing you, the faces that I bring to your mind will be so you can pray for them, not judge them!"...

I woke laughing and my Love just grunted...

The tree shadows lighting our walls and bed were just another example of His love toward me and so I rejoiced out loud and thanked Him for 'working' on me as I slept! Glorious awaking...

The email finally came about Berakah. (We'd been waiting since Friday morning for some kind of a response.)

There was no mistake made in the email sent to you. If you anticipated ahome visit, I am afraid that that arrangement was an error. ##$%^& organization has adoption policies which we ask our applicants to adhere to,without exception. Unfortunately, the board has reviewed both yourapplication and interview, and it is apparent that you disagree withthese policies and that they would not be followed, including: regularheartworm preventative and heartworm checks.

I sat at the screen in amazement that spoken words could be so misconstrued and that because we hadn't given our dog heartworm medicine (never said anything about not being willing to do that, tho!, and she doesn't have heartworm disease), that we no longer are capable of caring for her. So, I got on the phone to vets here and in NY and am waiting for some return calls before we take our next step...listening all the while to the Holy Spirit tell us what to do...

The kingdom: Righteousness, peace and joy...they're like checkpoints I go back to over and over during the day...am I walking in peace? Is joy being demonstrated here as jelly is being spilled on the shorts I just took off the line? Is my attitude righteous at this juncture? Help me, Jesus!!!

Seems like news in an email, or a letter or phone call can cramp the pace for the entire day...things I wanted to do have to be put on the back burner to help Love with his passions on his day off...stay out of his way if he needs to think or write...follow behind the boys to be sure the toilet is really clean and the smell of urine is GONE!!! and have joy in these repetitive tasks daily as I work to train them to be the servants that will bring Him honor and glory.

What a gift and treasure to be counted worthy of this call. I take it very seriously and yet I see that it's the daily picking up of my cross, following Him and listening to be transparent to each one of them in meeting their needs that I struggle with. I am so inadequate at this, but His love compels me to remember that it's not me, it's Him!~ His joy, His righteousness, His peace...freedom...

I want nothing more, Father, than to be filled up completely with You so people around me don't know who is whom...Jesus=Daune, Daune=Jesus...whatever it takes...I really mean it, Daddy.