February 10, 2011

"Two Lovers In a Battle"

She turned on the bathroom light to find her Bible, light reflecting into their bedroom, hoping that the beams wouldn't wake him; he still had twelve minutes to sleep. But it was too late.  He stirred, and as she rushed to find her things and be gone, he walked by, his countenance clearly indicating his frustration. She saw 'the look'...the one that let her know she'd blown it...again. 

This story has a fairy tale ending, but not before Light shines into darkness and exposes the selfish, stubborn hearts of two lovers that want things their own way. Each one believing they're 'in the right', neither wanting to admit that the day Could have begun with love, tenderness and compassion. 

But it didn't...

As she sat in the family room, contemplating how to deal with this disastrous beginning of their day, their marriage-- because she thought this must be the tip of the iceberg--he walks in, heaves a sigh, and leaves...this is HIS room to 'spend time with God'. 
Her mind screamed, 'Now what have I done wrong?' As she walked back toward their bedroom-the room she spent time alone with Daddy God- her Bible in tow, wanting to use the pages to clobber him rather than love him, no words were murmured and the air was thick with misunderstanding.

Sitting at her desk, she penned these words:
"Seems like there's so many opportunities of get offended...yet You gave me the example of how NOT to become offended--Romans 6:10-11:  'When he died, he died once to break the power of sin.  But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God.  So you should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Jesus Christ.'

Oh, that she had heeded His words, built her day on them...but she didn't.

She tried, but when he called at lunch to say hello and acted as though nothing happened, she forgot that she asked him to forgive her for waking him and he had.  She yearned for some expression of regret or remorse in his voice for his impatience towards her and when there was none, she began to take offense again and cut the conversation short.
The darkness around her heart, his heart was an open door for more deception, trouble and sorrow.  Even their son noticed the difference when commenting that there was no grand greeting of two lips when 'dad walked through the door'.  How she hated for the children to see anything but love between them.  It broke her heart, but she chose to hold onto her stubborn will, rather than just let it go.

Finally, after the dishes were in the dishwasher, table wiped off, floor swept, counter cleaned with bleach, he said, 'I'd like to speak with you in our room.'   THAT room again. 
By now, her heart was hard.  His heart  hurt, hardened, as well. 
They sat across the room from each other, their rockers rapidly mimicing their thoughts, each wanting the other to show some remorse, true compassion, their minds swirling that something so trivial had exploded into such a huge fight.  Didn't they just come back from a three-day getaway together?  Didn't they share such beautiful vulnerability and intimacy? 

What happened? 
Where did all this come from?  Who's really behind this scheme? 

Honestly, they both knew, but refused to give up the right to have their way.  This was a strategy, set up to destroy their love.  They'd been set up and fallen into enemy hands.

As she sat there, the voices on her shoulder were vying for attention:
 'He is NOT your enemy.'

 'Tell him to leave.  If he wants to be selfish and alone, tell him he can just go find it somewhere else.'

 'Are you going to sit here and allow your enemy to rob you of this evening, the entire day?'

"I'm leaving.  I'm going for a walk, she said."  "No, I'm not finished with this conversation."  "What's the point', she argued, 'we both have our minds made up, and we're not getting anywhere?"  "I have more to say", he retorted. 

So, she sat down, thinking she should pray, as he began to humble himself.  Now she had a choice to make...let down her guard with the hope that he genuinely desired to resolve their spat.  Her heart began to melt into his, when, all of a sudden, a lie spewed out of his mouth about her.  The enemy of his soul reminded him of a flaw she'd worked so hard to change and the lie spilled out. The walls went back up and she walked out. 

She headed out into the shades of evening until her bladder forced her home.  As she headed in the front door, she didn't notice the car gone.  She stayed in the bathroom, sitting on the floor praying, wondering how they got to such an impass, waiting for him to come to her, find her, make it right.

But, he'd left as well.  The next day he told her he walked the mall in hopes of cooling down. 

(Sidenote:  Most, if not all, fights are just plain stupid and resolve themselves when each party decides to give up, totally surrender, walk in humility and own their stuff.)

By eight o'clock that night, she was emotionally and physically tired. 'Why not be cordial, she thought, let down her guard and forgive from her heart?  The damage was done, but it wasn't immutable.'
She told him she was heading to bed, they discussed a matter briefly, she said goodnite to everyone in the house and was out for the night. 
Yes, indeed, warfare was going on in the unseen because normally when there was a rift, she couldn't sleep.
The next morning, as she sat up in bed, he quietly opened the door into their room.

The light was on.

Making his way to her side of the bed, he sat on the edge, and leaning in to hug her, he repented for being so selfish, for not putting on the armor of God and fighting for her, their marriage.  His voice was tender and her heart amalgamated into his.  He told her of how the weight on his chest was gone and how he realized that he needed to put on the armor of God and how he'd believed lies and how he needed to fight for her, them.  He told her that he knew the angels were warring on their behalf all night.

The power of that moment will never be forgotten because, once again, the enemy's destructive scheme to destroy their love was foiled.  The fight was over, the battle won. 

Light dispelled darkness and they lived happily ever after...

1 comment:

Hollinger Family said...

beautiful; so real, so simple yet complicated... the answeres are always there, right in front of us... to love, with no expectations, just love, always.
Thanks for sharing~


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