February 7, 2009

...The Dash...

Things are quiet...slower, and purposeful...and the silence is deafening at times...I miss Donnie...tho we were thousands of miles apart already before the tragedy, I knew I could pick up the phone and hear his voice and listen to words that would be so Donnie...now there are no words, but there is one Word..."I am the resurrection and the Life"...silence that is screaming that we all die...everyone of us has a birth date, a death date and neither are in our control...only the dash...livin' in the dash...I've been thinkin about that dash...
Today I had time alone...it was the Home Depot class and I anticipate this time with great expectation, yet I scrutinize every moment...am I using it wisely? Am I making the most of this silence?
I listened...He spoke...'I am your friend'. Revealing my unrealistic expectations of relationships...my wrong thinking about friendship...it's His idea, not mine; therefore, in order to have healthy ones, I have to receive His health, His Life and His perspective, not my own.
These are some of the ponderings I've had since Donnie died.

Reading Ann's mourning posts have made things difficult at times, yet hopeful...I actually couldn't read through some of them.

I wanna live fully in the dash.

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